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Paper Trimmer Love Story

I wanted to post a paper trimmer "review" I wrote for Craft Critique. Grab a cup of tea and enjoy:

It’s not that I’m fickle, but I’ve been in and out of relationships with a fair share of cutters. I’ve loved some of them more than others. Some of them abused me more than others. But, they were all affairs to remember.

Like many women, I began my cutter affair with the grey Fiskars. Soon, another man moved into my life: Carl. I saw Carl at Staples and couldn’t stop myself from bringing him home. He had a regular blade and a deckle edge blade! Big, blue, my first rotary cutter…but not my last. When I couldn’t find the replacement cutting mats for my Carl (and I must admit I didn’t look too hard – my particular Staples just didn’t carry them), I went back to Fiskars.

Instead of my original grey guy, I upgraded to the fancy new purple rotary Fiskars. I was fairly satisfied, though rotary cutters always confuse me a little as to where they’re going to cut. Perhaps because the grey guy was my first, I got a little too used to being able to see exactly where the cut would start and stop. Eventually, though, I got tired of having to flip those cutting mats over and over and sometimes having to cut twice through photos or really thick cardstock. I began to look for a new friend.

That’s when I discovered the Tonic Guillotine, and it was lust at first sight. I operate out of a tiny NYC apartment, but I wanted this bad boy so very much that I made the space. Acting out some adolescent regression, I loved the sound the Tonic made as it sliced through paper, so reminiscent of grade school art class. Though the affair was passionate, Tonic’s flaws soon became overwhelming. Anything less than an inch was impossible to cut with any accuracy. It would sometimes shred thick items or make incomplete cuts.

I was disappointed, and in my depression, I returned to my first love: the little grey Fiskars. At least I knew what to expect. And, at that price, you can always buy another one. Maybe it was time to grow up and settle for what was out there. In a fit of pique, I even put myself on the eighteen-month wait list for a Genesis Trimmer. However, my story has one more twist.

As I sat using a combination of glue dots, Elmer’s glue, and Hermafix Dotto on a project, I had a sudden realization--perhaps I have no soul mate! I had been looking for the one cutter to be everything to me, but I use different adhesives for different tasks, why not the same thing with cutters?

I now live a very content life using my little grey Fiskars for small cuts and moments when I need a portable cutter. My Tonic Guillotine makes the big cuts for me. And, in the meantime, there’s still the dream. I’ve only got about a year left until the legendary Genesis pays me a visit….