Balzer Designs

The First Thirty Days of Motherhood

Just before the baby was born, I was hired by The Washington Post and The Lilly to journal about my first 30 days of motherhood.  You can read my raw, real, and absolutely honest account of those first thirty days on the Washington Post's website and in the Lilly newsletter. 

I think the illustrations they put in the article are weird and don't really match, but perhaps that's the artist in me?  Here's a link to the article. I would say, "enjoy," but people have told me they cried while reading it, so instead I'll say, "I hope you take something away from it."

Have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!  (We celebrate both in our household!)

We are so delighted by the wonderful gift we received this year:

He is a sweet little baby who loves lying on his side, stretching, tilting his head back, and jamming his fingers into his mouth.  We can't wait to see more of his personality emerge over the coming year!

Hope you are having a happy day! 

P.S. This month's livestream for members will be on Saturday (December 28) at 2pm EST.  If you'd like to join in on the art fun (and meet the baby), you can join us for just $4.99/month.

Here's a very nice comment that one member recently left:

"So I have caught up and watched all the livestreams through November 2019. I am sorry that I didn't join sooner but life was too complicated. The upside is that I got to binge watch them all and I learned a lot and I am super excited to see what is in store from December 2019 and onward. I have said this many times, but I will say it again. I so appreciate all you do - I am a better artist because of you and I am definitely a happier person."

--- JoAnn

Baby is Here!

After 40 hours of labor, our beautiful baby boy came out kicking and screaming.  It had been such a long and slow labor that nobody thought the end would be quite so fast.  When he started to crown, it was just me, my Mom, Steve, and a nurse in the room.  The nurse called for back up and told me to stop pushing.  But I couldn't stop him from coming. 

No back up came.

She called again.

No back up came.

She pulled the emergency cord from the wall and the room flooded with people just as his shoulders popped free.  It was crazy.

I could say a lot of things about this first week of motherhood.

Birthing a human is an insane experience.  It is both traumatic and magical at the same time.

Watching Steve become a father has been wonderful.

The lack of sleep has been punishing. Our baby was losing weight instead of gaining, so we are on a strict feeding schedule that allows very little time for sleep.  We are simply in survival mode at the moment.   The chaos in this house reflects that.  The plants are dead and the kitchen counter has become a dumping ground for absolutely everything you can imagine.

The physical recuperation from giving birth is slow and painful.   Like many women, I tore during the birthing process.

My family and friends have been amazing and I am so grateful to be surrounded by such generous people.  I have been gifted with advice, time, extra hands, grace, and so much more!

My emotions are running rampant. There's worry and doubt and fear and depression and also great joy. I cry every day. Usually more than once. I think "hot mess" aptly describes the situation.

At any given moment, I could really use a shower and a nap.

But I couldn't be happier or more content than I am at the moment with my little family. He is a lovely little baby with a sweet disposition and I am super excited for the adventures ahead!

Thanks for stopping by!